Melly’s blog

I really do believe the Lord takes breaks once in awhile, that's why people with the disorders I have, suffer.

He is NOT with me right now...and I need Him to come back and tell me it will be ok.

Once again, up real late with tons of stuff on my mind. One of them being the traditions my family and I shared during this easter holiday. It normally started on Good Friday - we'd go to church, wouldn't eat meat, and use the day to remind ourselves of the resurrection of our Lord. Then my mother would buy me a new easter outfit every year, and we'd either go to Faith Lutheran where I work, or we would drive down to Chula Vista, CA (aka San Diego) and attend the Lutheran church my aunties belong to, Pilgrim Lutheran Church. In the evening, the entire family would have a sit down meal, in the glory of Jesus.
But over the years, traditions fade, the kids grew older, and faith seemed to evaporate. The trips to SD were fewer each year, to the point where the only ones going to church on Easter Sunday, were my grandmothers. No one came over for Easter dinner, or no one would go somewhere else to celebrate this Holy day.

Remembering all this saddens me. It reminds me of a time in my life where happiness and joy was something that came easy to me. Now, its the only thing I seek, and having a hard time getting those feelings back. It may have to do with the loss of my father in 2006, whom I loved dearly, or the loss of my auntie back in 2003, or the loss of my best friend, moving 3 states away.

So what does this have anything to do with anything? Nothing really, I will just pray to the Lord to guide me in the right direction, and will try my best to do his will.

This Sunday will be the first time I have attended Easter worship in over 15 years.

So let's just add that to the list of everything else that is wrong with me. For months now, I have been having trouble sleeping. The only good nights rest I get is if I take my "sleepy pills"  - Dee, ask Ayanna what those are! HAHA!

Can't sleep clowns will eat me.

I need to stop watching Ghost Hunters.

Jack pokes me.

I'm too addicted to online MMORPG games.

Yes, I do tend to write things in a tongue that makes no sense.